I Love You More Than You Will Ever Know
by JJdracula
Summary: Sorry for the cheesy title... I couldn't think of anything so I stole a Nevershoutnever song title. A short and sweet Nico/Leo one-shot about how Leo helps Nico when he's down. Suggestive themes towards the end and one swear word. Constructive criticism welcome. Enjoy :)


The moment that Leo opened his eyes he knew that he'd only had a few hours sleep. Just like he knew that Nico had been lying on his back and staring at the ceiling for the majority of that time. Sighing sadly to himself he rolled over to face his boyfriend, squinting at his shadow in the dark. Nico was lying perfectly still beside him, his hands folded neatly on his bare chest. The moonlight filtering through the room's only window was highlighting the bruises and scratches from Tartarus that still hadn't healed properly. Leo thought this made the boy look extremely vulnerable. People were so used to seeing Nico walking around in layers of unnecessarily thick clothing that they often forgot the evidence of pain and abuse that lay underneath it all. Leo was the only person that Nico would show his scars to. They ran too deep for Nico to feel comfortable about flaunting them. Leo shifted slightly under the covers so that he could bury his head in the crook of Nico's neck and drape an arm across his chest, pulling the blanket from Nico's waist up to his shoulders as he did so. Nico made a soft sound in his throat and hugged Leo's arm tighter to his body, shuffling down into the warmth of the comforter.

"I didn't mean to wake you up." He murmured into Leo's hair.

"Don't be stupid." Leo replied groggily, his voice was muffled. "Of course you didn't. You've been laying there in silence for the whole freaking night…" he stopped talking abruptly then let out a huff of breath, hoping the worry he was feeling didn't show in his voice. Although Nico staying awake at night wasn't a rare occurrence there was something about this pensive silence that disturbed Leo. It was different to the usual calm that overcame him once he was next to Leo in bed. "Get some sleep, Nico…" Leo whispered, moving his hand to twist a lock of Nico's hair through his fingers. Leo felt Nico's body tense up slightly as he spoke so he dropped the hand that was in Nico's hair and pulled it back under the bed covers. The couple lay there quietly for a while, just as Leo felt himself drifting back off to sleep, Nico's voice snapped him back to consciousness.

"I can't…" he said sadly, his voice a little hoarse from laying in silence for so long.

"You can't sleep?" Leo moved away from Nico and propped himself up on his elbow. Nico was still staring at the same spot on the ceiling.

"It's not like I can't, I just… I don't want to. I keep having these… _nightmares_… although they're not nightmares… they're things that have happened to me but it's like I'm reliving them… it's like somebody's torturing me… like somebody is putting these things inside of my head… I just…"

Leo chewed on his lip, watching Nico's expression morph from disinterested to terrified in a matter of seconds. It upset Leo to think that maybe somebody _was_ forcing Nico to relive these memoriesand there was nothing he could do about it. This wasn't something he could protect him from, as much as he wished he could.

"Nico…" Leo said softly, sitting up slowly and rubbing his face with one hand. "I wish I could help, just tell me what you need."

The mattress creaked as Nico pushed himself into sitting position too. Leo's brow creased with worry as he heard Nico struggling to lift his own weight. When he'd finally sat himself up Leo wrapped his arms tightly around his shoulders. Holding him steady and trying to comfort him.

"I don't know what I need…" Nico muttered, leaning in to Leo's touch, he sounded like he was crying but Leo knew he wasn't. Nico didn't cry. He couldn't. "I need not to have gone through what I went through… I need to not hurt and to not have nightmares… I need to know how I can fix myself because everywhere hurts, Leo. _Existing_ is painful…" he stuttered to a stop and let out a breath that Leo took for a laugh. "I'm sorry, Leo. I'm sorry for making everything so hard on you."

Leo laughed this time.

"Shut up, Nico. Don't be so ridiculous. I will _always_ be there for the people that I care about, you know that. And we're Demigods. We all have our shit to deal with, it's not your fault that you're messed up. We're all messed up in our own ways and we're all trying to deal with it to-" Leo was cut off as Nico suddenly leaned across the bed and kissed him fiercely, Leo's hands found their way to Nico's hair as Nico deepened the kiss, then all of a sudden he broke away. "What?" Leo asked breathlessly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Nico muttered. "It's nothing." He pushed Leo away gently then fell back onto the bed, resuming his previous position of staring at the ceiling. Leo ran his hands through his hair. Frustrated at how sporadic his boyfriend could be.

"Nico, what is it?" He asked. An edge to his voice, hoping Nico would pick up on that edge and respond. When he was met by silence he decided to lie back down again too. He yanked the covers back up so that they were both covered then rolled over so that his back was to Nico. After a few tense minutes Nico reached out his arm and started running his fingers through Leo's hair. They kept getting caught in the tangled curls.

"You would have loved the old me." He said finally.

"What?" Leo rolled over to face Nico again and he was surprised to see tear tracks making their way down Nico's face. Wondering if it was a good sign or not that Nico was finally crying he shifted a little closer to him.

"You would have loved the old me." Nico said again. When Leo didn't answer him he carried on talking. His voice so quiet that Leo could barely hear him over his breathing. "I was so happy, and enthusiastic and geeky. I used to collect these little figurines of the Greek gods. I had all of the gods except from…" He trailed off and cleared his throat. "I had all of the figurines but one." He said firmly. "I was loud and excited by everything and I don't think there was anything I didn't really love and I made jokes all the time and… And you're stuck with this me…" he finished, turning his head to gauge Leo's reaction. Leo frowned again into the darkness.

"Nico, if you don't stop talking right now, I swear to the Gods, I will find all four of the Twilight books and read them to you one by one. Don't even think about escaping either because you'll be tied to a chair in the middle of the room with no access to any tools that could help you break free… Oh, and you'll be gagged so that you can't talk over Stephanie Meyer's masterpiece." He added as an afterthought. He grinned as Nico's face lit up with a smile.

"Leo, how do you know how many books there are and how do you know who wrote them?" He asked suspiciously.

Leo's grin widened and he giggled in a very unmanly way.

"Uh… lucky guesses?" he shrugged, his shoulder rubbing against the mattress.

"Yeah, ok. Whatever, I'm pretty sure you just established yourself as the female in this relationship." Nico's smile widened and he swiped the tear tracks off of his cheeks.

"Oh shush," Leo leaned forwards to kiss Nico on the nose. "And for the record, Nico. I love you now. I don't care who you were before. You're perfect and I love you."

Nico was about to reply when Leo clapped a hand over his boyfriends mouth.

"Nu uh, Ghost King. No more angst tonight! Okay?" Nico nodded reluctantly and prized Leo's hand off of his face. Making a big show of gasping for air.

"All jokes about my father aside, Leo, I am _not_ dead. I need oxygen, y'know!"

"I know," Leo said, shoving Nico with his shoulder. "Stop being over dramatic, I was barely touching you!" Nico grinned again and Leo felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his chest. It was such a rare thing to see Nico smiling and it made Leo feel so incredible to know that he was the one to him beam like that. Leo was about to snuggle up to Nico and try to sleep again when he realized that he wasn't even a little bit tired anymore.

"Sooo…" He said, twisting his head to look Nico in the eyes. "You can't sleep, huh?" Nico raised an eyebrow in question so Leo carried on. "Well, you see… I'm not tired anymore and once again, Di Angelo, we seem to find ourselves in bed together… in an empty cabin… while everybody else on this boat is either asleep or on deck. Do you see where I'm going with this?" Nico shook his head, trying to look as innocent as possible.

"I'm sorry, Leo. I _really_ don't know what you're on about. I'm afraid you're not making much sense, are you feelin- wha- _Leo_!" Nico was cut off by Leo throwing off the comforter, rolling on top of him and kissing him fiercely. It only took a few seconds for him to start kissing him back. Leo pulled back after a moment and broke the kiss.

"I love you _now_, Nico! _Now_! I don't care about who you were, I don't even care about who you're going to become. I love you!" Nico smiled again, wishing, more than he'd ever wished for anything, that Leo meant what he said.

"I love you too. More than you will ever know."


End file.
